Went to the Lightning game last night. I only had two beers. Of course, they were two 32oz beers. The NHL has this puck in play rule where you can't go to your seat until play stops. During one return trip from the restroom (When drinking Ice Palace beer, I seem to develop a bladder of a 10 year old girl), I was caught in one of the rare moments where the Lightning aren't being scored on. So I took the time to bond with the usher. I told her about all the times I used to usher at the Gator games, and how much fun it was to just stand there and watch without having to do any real work. Well, at least that's what I was trying to say, but it probably sounded to her more like "aaaaah shuusshesshh bwaaa errsh git", err, well you get the picture. The crowd roared, meaning the Bruins had scored again and she gave me the "You can go now, sir" look. So I climbed all the way back up to my seat, which for some reason reminded me of that Everest movie. I sat down and had to pee again. This time I ignored the usher and made my way to the curtain that blocks the light out from the concession areas during concerts. Since this wasn't a concert, the curtain shouldn't have been drawn right, RIGHT? So I try to force my way through, not realizing that you can just push it to the side, when somebody tried to come through the other side. We bumped, I said "Ouch". Between the usher and that curtain, they should just call it the corridor of death and embarrassment. Yeah, speaking of which, when I got out of the curtain. I ran into Jen (a co-worker of mine who I've only known for a few weeks) and her friend that was kinda cute, I think. So Jen says something like, "Hey, nice beer all over your shirt." I looked down, and not only was there a wet spot, but it was foaming. Since I was wearing a dark shirt, it didn't exactly blend. Yup, so I'm standing there in front of two girls I barely know being that slobbering drunk guy with beer all over his shirt. Great. My mind frantically searched for an excuse, but all I could do was point and mumble, "Umm, the curtain", while staring at my feet. The wit was flowing. "Would you like some popcorn to wash that beer down with sir?" What? Where the hell did that come from? Obviously, someone else decided to join in. "Huh", I asked. "It's the Lightning rewards program". Wow, the Lightning want to reward me and I didn't even play. "Hey, I don't deserve any rewards!" I shouted. "Well sure you do" was his reply. I didn't trust him. Hmm, I had to make a quick decisive decision if I wanted to impress the girls. So I looked him right in the eye and said the first thing that came to my mind, "I gotta go pee!!" So I left the two girls and the rewards guy and headed to the men's room trying to hold my beer cup so it hid the messy splotch on my shirt. On the bright side, at least nothing worse could happen that night, or so I thought.