I know Tampa is home to a lot of Pro Wrestlers, but did you know that the city of guava's most famous resident is the Peter Pan? I've been trying to think of some smart ass commentary on this one, but he just seems so happy that I didn't have the heart.
Link provided by my dear sister Jen
Hmm, I see the art of stuffing a kitten into a glass jar is finally catching on.
link from David, where does his sick mind find this stuff?
I was reviewing my medical coverage this morning. The list of expenses not covered includes (yes, these are explicitly stated) Divorce, Wigs, Religious Cult Deprogramming, and Vacuum Cleaners
In softball news, we finally ended our win streak. Tonight's loss marked the first since we dropped the opening game of the season. Although a challenge, the team is confident that our next win streak will be even longer. The softball community is skeptical, citing that in order to beat our last streak, we will need to win at least two games in a row.
If you don't have Internet Explorer 5.5, then you won't see the Visual Distortion Scrollbar, you'll just get the plain grey one
Where's Waldo was for kids. "Find the can 'o spam" is for serious intellects only.
NOTE: I'm routing you through David Gagne's page, Click on Find-The-Spam
Went to the Lightning game last night. I only had two beers. Of course, they were two 32oz beers. The NHL has this puck in play rule where you can't go to your seat until play stops. During one return trip from the restroom (When drinking Ice Palace beer, I seem to develop a bladder of a 10 year old girl), I was caught in one of the rare moments where the Lightning aren't being scored on. So I took the time to bond with the usher. I told her about all the times I used to usher at the Gator games, and how much fun it was to just stand there and watch without having to do any real work. Well, at least that's what I was trying to say, but it probably sounded to her more like "aaaaah shuusshesshh bwaaa errsh git", err, well you get the picture. The crowd roared, meaning the Bruins had scored again and she gave me the "You can go now, sir" look. So I climbed all the way back up to my seat, which for some reason reminded me of that Everest movie. I sat down and had to pee again. This time I ignored the usher and made my way to the curtain that blocks the light out from the concession areas during concerts. Since this wasn't a concert, the curtain shouldn't have been drawn right, RIGHT? So I try to force my way through, not realizing that you can just push it to the side, when somebody tried to come through the other side. We bumped, I said "Ouch". Between the usher and that curtain, they should just call it the corridor of death and embarrassment. Yeah, speaking of which, when I got out of the curtain. I ran into Jen (a co-worker of mine who I've only known for a few weeks) and her friend that was kinda cute, I think. So Jen says something like, "Hey, nice beer all over your shirt." I looked down, and not only was there a wet spot, but it was foaming. Since I was wearing a dark shirt, it didn't exactly blend. Yup, so I'm standing there in front of two girls I barely know being that slobbering drunk guy with beer all over his shirt. Great. My mind frantically searched for an excuse, but all I could do was point and mumble, "Umm, the curtain", while staring at my feet. The wit was flowing. "Would you like some popcorn to wash that beer down with sir?" What? Where the hell did that come from? Obviously, someone else decided to join in. "Huh", I asked. "It's the Lightning rewards program". Wow, the Lightning want to reward me and I didn't even play. "Hey, I don't deserve any rewards!" I shouted. "Well sure you do" was his reply. I didn't trust him. Hmm, I had to make a quick decisive decision if I wanted to impress the girls. So I looked him right in the eye and said the first thing that came to my mind, "I gotta go pee!!" So I left the two girls and the rewards guy and headed to the men's room trying to hold my beer cup so it hid the messy splotch on my shirt. On the bright side, at least nothing worse could happen that night, or so I thought.
| Support Groups | |
|---|---|
| Monday: | Ex-IRS Employees who like to shoot guns in front of the White House |
| Tuesday: | Steve Guttenburg Fan Club |
| Wednesday: | Sponaneous Orgasmics |
| Thursday: | Large Penis Support Group |
| Friday: | Gay White Supremicists who like litte fat cartoon characters |
I was watching Turn Ben Stein On with his guest Jenna Jameson. Now of course I never knew who she was. Apparently she's a "high class" porn star which means she actually acts in her films. What a waste. Anyway, Ben asked her what worst thing about being an adult actress was. Apparently, and this seems to be a big problem on the set, is that the men fart a lot during the sex scenes. I'll leave you to ponder that for the rest of your day.
I had this dream last night that I was Eric Cartman at a gay KKK rally. I don't remember much, but apparently I was going around stealing all their hoods. That is the LAST time I rapidly flip between South Park, Mississippi Burning, and Will & Grace before bed!
Some Gasparilla picture are up. If you want the rest, Email Dirk and tell him to send me his pictures.