You can't even spend quality time with your pets anymore without intrusion from The Man. How does something like this become accidentally legalized?
FastCloning is the first Agricultural, Human and Pet Cloning consultancy and general contractors for anyone who wants to clone a prized or rare plant, loved one or loved pet, champion stud or other living organism.
Keep an eye out for upcoming promotions such as Nickel Hamster night.
My fridge blew this week. The repair guy couldn't come until today, so I had to put all my spoilables in a cooler. Actually it forced me to throw away some old stuff. I came across some yogert with an expiration date of Dec '99. Not only do I have food that went bad a year and a half ago, but it expired before I moved and I actually packed it up and brought it with me.
As you can see, I did a bit of redesigning. I hope you like. Many valuable work hours were spent on it. There still are some glitches, such as the pictures coming up in the bottom right frame, but I will take care of that as soon as I get time. I'm also not too thrilled with the Archive and Pictures combo boxes up there. I'll have to think of something.
Happy Anniversery to Jen (my sister) and Chris. They have been married now for two years. Attorneys for Mr. Leone are pessimistic that a parole hearing will be granted anytime soon.
Ok, I've resolved the poll issue. Thanks to mypoll.net, I now have FREE polls once again. I was kinda bummed when they only let me select a limited number of color schemes, but then when they gave me the code to cut-n-paste, I realized something. I sort of do this for a living. So I completely overhauled the code that was given to me so that it fits seemlessly into Visual Distortion. The only problem is that it lets you fuckers vote more than once!
EZ Polls informed me that they are discontinuing their free Poll Service. They now want me to pay $119/year to keep the poll. booooooooo! Hmmm, I guess I'll have to think of something.
According to my web host, the following searches (at unspecified search engines) resulted in visualdistortion.net
#reqs: search term11:21 AM | Comments ()
I'm doing my taxes online. It should be an interesting process, I'll keep you posted on my progress.
Ok, I can understand that the IRS want's to know that I'm single, but now they are asking me why I'm single. Do I really need to justify my lack of a partner? Maybe they have this "I feel sorry for you" meter and they'll give me more on my refund, Yeah right.
Oh this one is good. This is a direct cut-and-paste from the H&R Block website: "If deceased, enter date of death"
Done! Not too bad, but now the IRS thinks I have five kids.
A Nickelodeon spokesman confirmed the gaffe, reports NBC, saying: "Yes. His scrotum falls out of his shorts."
If you are expecting to see anything new here between now and Monday, forget it! I'm in Key West!
Since my elementary school teachers went through great pains to teach me to read (and yet somehow failed to introduce me to spelling), I've decided to re-enter the literary world and read a book. So I'm at my local book/music/dvd/coffeehouse/"trendy" hangout/newstand/over-commercialized corporate whorehouse, which some call Borders, trying to decide exaclty which work will guide me to true intellectual satisfaction. People spend months trying to decide what car to buy. I mean, the kind of car you drive is directly related to your level of social status in our society, right? Well, as I found out, what books people read can tell you so much more. People watch you too. They notice whether you've selected a 19th century British novel, a provocative work on American decadence, or an N'Synch pop-up book with live audio of Justin Timberlake being hog-raped by a 60-year-old 3rd grader from who-the-fuck-cares-where Tennessee. Now I'm not saying that there is a lot of crap literature out there, I'm not saying that 300 page biographies of Enimem and Goldberg won't become required reading for High School Sophmores, hell I'm not even sure Phil Fulmer likes N'Synch, in fact, I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. Now, the best place to watch people in a book store is the self-help section. Pull up a chair, grab a book you have no intetion of reading, and let you eyes wander over the freaks who's lives cannot be repaired by any written text. It's actually kinda sad. Women in their 40's searching for the answers to save their marriages, male software developers in their 20's desperately trying to figure out why there is no love in their life , and butcher shop employees trying to find a way to communicate with the voices that only speak while ALF reruns are on. If any of them make eye-contact with you, it is important to not quickly look away. This will make them feel that you are spying on them, which of course, you are. Instead, give them a horrified look, jump up from your chair, and hide under a table in the coffee shop. They won't follow you in, they fear the coffee shop. I ended up selecting Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk, simply because he wrote Fight Club. Point is, most people don't know who he is and hence is a great conversation topic sitting on my bookshelf. <I have decided to stop writing this post>
