Can't say I've ever been confused for a child molester So I'm out walking around my little neighborhood park, around 10:00, all sweaty because I was running. I'm walking along the path when I notice a family coming towards me. I try to be polite to people, say hello, nod, or raise eyebrows; anything to acknowledge their existence. Of course people return the gesture. That wasn't happening tonight. The father with one of the kids reaches me first. "Hello" I say. Nothing. In fact he turns his head away and leads his son past me. Ooookaaay. So the mother with another one of the puppies comes up next. Women are generally better at this, so maybe I'll get a better response. "Hello" I say again. The mother grabs the kid's arm and whispers "Just look straight ahead".

I'm #1185!!!!! According to the 2004 USA Triathlon National Rankings for Men 25-30

Will this guilt trip take long? My cell phone just range. It was them. I didn't answer it. I hate talking to them. Don't get me wrong, they're very pleasant, I just know what they're up to. A typical call usually goes something like this

"Mr. Grasso?"

"Umm, yes?"

"It's us."

"I knew you'd be calling. Ok, lets get this over with"

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"Yeah"

"Ok, as you know, you'll be recieving an anonymous survey regarding service recently performed on your Acura. If there is ANY reason WHATSOEVER that you ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT mark us as EXCELLENT in EVERY CATEGORY, then please tell me so I can inform you as to why you are wrong and how we really are excellent in every category."

"But, the survey isn't anonymous, it has my VIN on it"

"Well then how would we know who is giving us un-excellent marks?"

"Okay, well, my appointment was for 12:00 noon, and nobody was there to take my car until 12:15. Not exactly excellent in my opinion."

"Yes, well when you signed up for service on the internet, the time you requested was not available, so we moved your appointment to 3:00. You should have received an email"

"Yeah you sent that email at 11:50. I was already on my way to the dealership"

"Hey, it's not our fault you don't check your email from a PDA or cell phone every 2 minutes. Get with the 21st century. Besides, you really don't need three hours to drive here, honestly."

"I was expecting my appointment to be a noon."

"Well you were wrong. Didn't you read the email?"

"Yes, but not until after..."

"Again, this is hardly our fault. Look Mr. Grasso. I don't know why you insist on making this difficult for yourself. All we need is for you to give us all excellent marks in the anonymous survey. There is no need for you to suffer any more than you need to."

"Okay, okay! You win. I'll give you what you want."

"Excellent. I'm glad to hear you had a wonderful experience, and thank you for choosing our dealership, where we rank #1 in customer satisfaction surveys.

Bastards.