If you're not so familiar with VOIP, that's Voice Over Internet Protocol, e.g. Internet Phone, well, uh, it's Internet phone. Normally you just hook up this thing that sits next to your cable modem or whatever and it all hooks together, but you can also route it through your computer for whatever reason.

Well, Skype, has created a reason. They have released an add-on program that performs voice stress analysis. The not so coincidentally same stress analyis used in lie detector tests.

It was a simple plan to a simple problem. How to get 1 Acura CL, 1 Honda Accord, and 1 24' moving truck from Florida to North Carolina with only two drivers. Just rent a car trailer and tow one behind the truck. Easy, right? Beth was against it. She thought it was too much to handle and we'd be better off just selling the car and buying to new one when we got up there. She just had a bad feeling about it and didn't want me to do it.

So I get to the rental place where I meet Ann. Ann is freaking nuts. Totally out of her mind, but she runs the Budget truck rental/Public Storage facility, so she must have some brains. Turns out, she didn't have the trailer where you just tow the car by the front wheels. So she "upgraded" me to the full blown full entire car off the ground carrier. Fine. By the way. I've never towed anything before. I figured I'd learn with a 24' moving tuck towing my car. What could happen?

Anyway, Ann's husband, who normally helps customers with the trailers had already left for the day. But she didnt' think it was too difficult, so she would help me. She also mentioned that the guy who dropped off the trailer rushed out without checking in and she has a report filed on him. I didn't see any red flags.

Wednesday evening:

I line up the truck and Ann attaches it to the trailer. She forgot the safety chains, but for the rare occasion which I would actually need them, I put them on. I would like to note here that we did not put my car on at this point. So I'm driving home with the empty truck and the empty trailer. So far so good. I stayed off the interstate and took 41 down to Apollo Beach. Some kid pulls up and says I have some crap hanging off the end throwing up sparks and stuff. Whatever. So I turn on to Big Bend Road and cross the railroad tracks at 45mph. At that point, some poor soul behind me probably wet himself at the sight of a trailer becoming uncoupled from a truck and thrashing all over the road.

Luckily, I was able to get the truck off to the side of the road and the only damage was to the trailer. I made the call. I knew what was coming and I deserved it. She arrived, and didn't even have to say it. She told me so. The bitch of it is that it wasn't my fault! Ann forgot to secure the hitch. So we called the roadside assistance and had them take the trailer away. I just wasn't meant to be.

Thurdsay morning:

Movers arrive and start packing up. They started with the den. In the back of my mind, the word "title" keeps reverberating. I dismiss it. A few hours later, I talk with Beth about taking the car to CarMax. Again, for some strange reason, the word "title" enters my mind. Damn it! So the title to the car is packed in the front of the truck and I need to sell the thing.

So she calls CarMax to see if we can still sell the car without the title. Absolutely they said. We just send the title when we get to NC, and they'll send us the check. Again, this is not my fault.

And then, it started raining. I'm in Apollo Beach way South of Tampa and CarMax is on Bearss, way North of Tampa. When it rains in Tampa, the roads pretty much shut down.

So I finally get there around 4:30, and the nice sales guy Allen would be more than happy to buy the car off me. We get the appraisal which of course was nowhere near what the car is worth and get ready to do the paperwork. I bring up the issue of the title. Allan basically says, "I don't know who told you that but we absolutely can not buy your car without the title. But, the tax office is two exits down I-275 and if you can get there by 5:00, you can get a copy of your title". It was 5:10.

The plan for Friday:

8:00 AM Final walkthough with buyers
9:00 AM Sign closing documents at title agency
10:00 AM Get dulplicate title from tax office
10:30 AM Complete sale to CarMax
11:00 AM Depart for Charlotte.
9:00 PM Arrive in Charlotte.

Actual events on Friday

8:20 AM Buyers arrive for walkthrough
9:15 AM Arrive for signing documents
10:00 AM Depart for tax office
10:20 AM Realize key to car is in truck at title company
10:40 AM Get key from truck
11:00 AM Wait in line at tax office
11:45 AM Get duplicate title
12:00 PM Arrive at CarMax
1:30 PM Receive check from CarMax
2:00 PM Return to truck.
2:10 PM Beth steps in ant pile, highly allergic.
2:59 PM Abort trip crosses my mind.
3:00 PM Depart for Charlotte.
3:00 AM Arrive in Charlotte.

Stupid car. I know, had I just listened to Beth we wouldn't have had to deal with all of that. But I loved that car. I didn't want to sell it. It absolutely broke my heart to see the CarMax guy drive it into the back lot. I've had it for 5+ years, 110,000 miles and probably could have given me 100,000 more. A car like that is unreplacable.

Unless, it's replaced by brand new 2007 Toyota 4Runner.