Spring has hit here in Charlotte. I first noticed it when I woke up one morning and everything was fucking green. So much for watching the seasons change.

So with spring, comes pollen. Now, I'm used to seeing pollen living in Florida, but down there, it's measured in granules per cubic meter. Here, it's measured in inches. Kids stay home from school and build pollen men and make pollen angels. Surprisingly amazingly my allergies are completely unaffected.

Anyway, so I'm at the gas station trying to close the car door with the front side of my fingernails, because I know that if I used my hand, I'd eventually get yellow pollen all over the white shirt I brilliantly wore. The gas pump starts asking all the reglar questions, "What's your zipcode", "What's your pin", "What's your height in centimeters", Then it asks, "Would you like a carwash?".

Well, it was 10:00 AM, so I still had plenty of time before I had to get to work. I know that my car would probably be covered in pollen again by noon, but dammit, I was determined have the cleanest car on the road for a few hours. So I said yes. Then I had to scroll through all the different types, starting with the full wax/rainx/armor all/backrub all the way down to the one where it just drops a bucket of water over the car. Perfect. "Enter your number" What number. I have a number. I guessed '7'.

So I finished filling up and headed over to the carwash. There was someone in front of me. I wasn't worried. I knew by the time I was done with my wash, his car would be completely covered again and I'd still have the cleanest car of the road.

So I pull up to the little um, control thing, and it asks for my code. I didn't have a code, but I had a number. So I hit seven. It didn't do anything. I think it wanted more numbers. So I kept pressing 7. No luck. So I slid my debit card into the little card reader thing, and the display said "Card reader not working. Please see sales associate". I looked over through the window and stared at the guy behind the counter. Still, nothing happend (sorry, couldn't resist).

So, I left the gas station and pulled onto the interstate. I didn't have the cleanest car on the road. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. You just can't compete with those "garage" people.